FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS #1

DOES SEXNCHESS HAVE A NAME? WHAT DO WE CALL HER?

• SEXNCHESS IS KNOWN BY MANY NAMES BUT SEEMS TO RESPOND TO TIFFANY, OR MORE COMMONLY CAROLINE.

SO MANY CLOTHES! DOES SHE EVER GET NAKED?

• IF EVERYONE PAYS THEIR TAXES AND BEHAVES WELL, SHE WILL STILL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS BUT PAYING TAXES NEVER HURT SO JUST FUCKING DO IT! ON A SIDENOTE, COLORADO IS FUCKING COLD! YOU DON'T WANT HER TO GET SICK, DO YOU!?

IT'S SO COLD HERE FRIENDS!

PRIVATES? ANY CHANCE I CAN GET ONE?

• PRIVATES ARE 24 HOUR MINIMUM SO UNLESS YOU SAVE YOUR SHITTY SALARY FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS, YOU'RE BETTER OFF KNOCKING OFF THE CLOSEST LIQUOR STORE AND DRUNKENLY PLAY WITH YOUR OWN PRIVATES!

JUST MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE THE STORE BEFORE PLAYING WITH YOURSELF OR SHIT WILL GO DOWN!

WHERE DOES SHE COME FROM? DO I SEE SOME INDIAN BLOOD UP IN THERE!?

• SEXNCHESS IS VERY SECRETIVE ABOUT HER ORIGINS BUT THROUGH MANNERS OF DEDUCTION, INVESTIGATION, AND IMAGINATION, IT IS BELIVED SHE IS OF POLISH/ROMANIAN DESCENT.

FOR YOU AMERICANS, THIS IS A MAP OF EUROPE, LOOK IT UP!

CAPS CAPS, WTF IS UP WITH ALL THE CAPS?

• HAVING GROWN UP IN THE AGE OF AOL CHATROOMS WHERE ONE HAD TO STAND OUT TO MAKE ONES OPINION NOTED, SEXNCHESS HAS SINCE BECOME IMMUNE TO LOWERCASE TYPYING AND WON'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE THERE UNLESS YOU STAND OUT IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!
  (AND DON'T USE FUCKING GAY COLORS EITHER! I'M LOOKING AT YOU HS!)

SO THIS TYCO GUY, HOW COME ALL THE GUESTS SEEM TO WORSHIP HIM?

• WHILE THIS REMAINS A BIG MYSTERY TO THE TAXPAYERS ON THE MOUNTAIN, THERE ARE THEORIES ABOUT TYCO HAVING 29 DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES, 27 OF WHICH ARE GUESTS. IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT TYCO ONCE FILLED ALL THE ROOMS OF BUNDYDAWGS  LAKEHOUSE ALL ON HIS OWN.

THIS IS TYCO, BETTER SHOW SOME RESTECP! 

I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS POOR HANNAH GIRL. HOW CAN I HELP HER?

• HANNAH IS THE LOVECHILD OF SHERLOCKE AND A SOMALI PIRATE WOMAN, KNOWN SIMPLY AS "BLACK PEARL", WHICH HE MET WHILST ON AN EXCURSION TO INVESTIGATE THE STATE OF THE AFRICAN TRAILER PARKS. (THEY FUCKING SUCK, EVEN BY CANADIAN STANDARDS)
  IF YOU WANT TO HELP HANNAH, YOU CAN FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER @SAD_HANNAH, OR EVEN BETTER, YOU CAN ADOPT HER AND GIVE HER A BETTER LIFE BY MAILING TO SADHANNAHSAD@GMAIL.COM

GOT MORE QUESTIONS? ASK THEM IN THE COMMENTS AND YE SHALL RECIVE AN ANSWER! (BUT PROBABLY NOT THE ONE YOU WERE LOOKING FOR!)

ENTRY #14

GUYS. GUYS.

GUYS.

BUNDYDAWG SAYS HE WANTS TO OFFER ME (TYCO) EMPLOYMENT.  HE WANTS ME TO SEND HIM MY RESUMÉ.

PLEASE LEAVE SUGGESTIONS FOR ANY GOOD LINKS FOR GAY PORN SITES AND/OR TROLL LINKS IN THE COMMENTS BELOW, SO THAT I MAY SEND THE BEST ONE(S) TO BUNDYDAWG.  THANK YOU IN ADVANCE, FRIENDS.

STILL NOT AS GAY AS :kenorion

ENTRY #13

HERE I AM, MINDING MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, WHEN I GET PM'ED BY THIS FAT (PREGNANT?) COLOMBIAN CHICK.  THE FOLLOWING IS THE CONVERSATION IN ITS ENTIRETY:

THE CONVERSATION ENDED BECAUSE I CLIMAXED.

:kenorion

:retrobite

SINCERELY,
TYCO

DANGEROUS GOAT ON THE LOOSE

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT A NEW PHENOMENON THAT'S APPEARED IN THE DARK RECESSES OF MFC. I BELIEVE I HAVE FOUND THE FIRST EVER FOOTAGE RELEASED OF THIS "DANGER GOAT", AS A KID. DANGER GOAT APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN USING THE ALIAS "BUTTERMILK" AT THE TIME.

ALSO PLEASE BE AWARE THAT A NEW IMAGE HAS BEEN CIRCULATING. SOME HAVE BEGUN CALLING IT 'DGOAT', THOUGH I KNOW NOT WHY. IT'S PRESENCE IS SURELY A TERRIBLE PORTENT OF THINGS TO COME.

Mount Gay Theatre Playbill

ENLARGE THIS SHIT

Greetings fellow art lovers. After many months of exceptional hard work and dedication--and it goes without saying the monumental amount of bickering and backstabbing--the Mount Gay Theatre staff is proud to finally release its premier Playbill. 

HONESTLYSRSLY HONESTLYPERVING

Upon entering the Mount Gay Theatre, you will be welcomed by our much respected door greeter, old-man HonestlySrsly. He may also be HonestlyDrunk at the time, in which case please do not be offended if he grabs your dick. After being only slightly molested, the cantankerous old fart will provide you with a leaflet which outlines the nights scheduled events.

It is important to study this Program closely and ensure you know exactly which scene the actress is on at the time for any attempts on your part to deviate her from the script will lead to the staff, or the actress herself, verbally assaulting you and throwing more programs in your face. You may also be called a cunt. If you persist, deportation papers will be filed.

A chart has been provided at the bottom of the Program to assist the guests of a certain demographic who have a tendency to get lost in such a large and fine Theatre. This should prevent our most esteemed benefactors, such as the magnificent Ken Orion, from having to reside in the same area as, for example, the vagrant Sherlocke. It is said Sherlocke smells like a wet dog soaked in piss with baby shit rubbed deep into its fur. The staff can assure you that description is entirely accurate.

ACTUAL MOUNT GAY THEATRE

In commemoration of the release of the Mount Gay Theatre Playbill, a party will be held this spring break at our dear friend BundyDawg's colossal 9 bedroom lake house on Lake Lanier. Please be sure to RSVP at sadhannahsad@gmail.com to ensure your spot is held. Gift baskets containing personalized eggplants and token donkey drawings will be handed out to all guests. Atrex has requested lightly soiled undergarments also be included but that's just fucking nasty.

We hope you enjoy the scheduled events and especially the unscheduled ones. Life on Mount Gay is nothing if not surprising.

Until next time...TYCO OUT!

ENTRY #12

HERE'S A LIST OF THE WORST (BEST?) MODEL NAMES ON MFC, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.  THEY ARE, IN FACT, ACTUAL MODELS ON MFC.  BASICS/GUESTS, GET YOUR NOTEBOOKS BACK OUT:

nicelittlebb
anything4sex
BALLZONMYFACE (big ups to this model for using capslock in her name)
richbodytits
OceanCum
EnjoyMyRoom
bigholeshot
Bigladyboobs
LickMyFeetBB
SlowBurning
SquirtBigHole
UrSweetDeer (lol because deer)
HairyCuntx
XprettyShyX (SORRY I WAS LOOKING FOR A MODEL WHO IS VERY SHY)
BigBigHOOTERS
Pynkbutter (gross)

Ridemecowboys
MadHorny4Real
KinkyCuntCak
LittleFUNNY
Extreme_Pussy
assdirtyfuck
KOOTER_KREAM

MORE WILL BE ADDED; STAY TUNED, FRIENDS.  LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR MODELS YOU MAY KNOW OF.  LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY CHLAMYDIA.

introducing the mount gay chess team

group photo of HS, Tyco, Ken and Tiffany(sexncheese) can anyone guess which one s Tiff??

tiffany in a group show

it was difficult to find a representation for Sherlocke the web only has chess horses heads (and we know thats not true) so this is the best i could come up with.

smile sherlocke!!!!

Atrex found the swedish version of chess(Admiril) what the fuck is that. you need to learn an AMERICAN GAME to join the club

ICE isn't good at board games, but Tyco says he rides a mean stick (whatever that means) in top gun

chess queen Tiffany invites all to her domain to be dominated (for a price) 

back to you...Tiff

"THE BUNDY REPORT" BY HANNAH ZIMBUNTU

THE MOUNT GAY INVESTIGATIVE FORCES ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF EXAMINING THE RECENT OUTBURSTS OF A THIS YEAR'S CURRENT LEAD BUNDY-AWARD FINALIST (NO CURRENT SANDUSKY AWARD NOMINEES YET THIS YEAR).

NOTHING SCREAMS "I'M A WHINING SON OF A BITCH" QUITE LIKE THE STUFF YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ. IF I'M WRONG ABOUT THIS, PLEASE PROVIDE BETTER EXAMPLES IN THE COMMENT SECTION BELOW.

WE HAVE CHANGED HIS NAME TO "BUNDYDAWG" TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY.

HE IS LIKELY TO BE USING OTHER ALIASES IN HIS FUTURE PROWLING BUT CAN BE IDENTIFIED BY THE FLOWING CLUES:

1. USES IDLE MFC MODEL PROFILE PAGES AS FACADES; ALLUDING TO CONTRIVED FORMER RELATIONSHIPS




2. CAN NEVER GET HIS THOUGHTS OUT IN ONE LINE/MESSAGE/EMAIL. ALWAYS CAN FIND ONE MORE REASON TO TALK ABOUT HIMSELF




3. THINKS MODELS ARE THE ONES WITH THE PROBLEMS, WHEN REALLY IT IS HIM. THREATENS TO NEVER RETURN TO MFC BECAUSE OF IT, BUT SOMEHOW ALWAYS MANAGES TO FIND HIS WAY BACK.




4. THINKS HE IS DOING MODELS A FAVOR BY BERATING THEM WITH HIS OWN PERSPECTIVE, BUT ENDS UP LOOKING LIKE A DOUCHE IN THE PROCESS (HINT HE MIGHT BE USING THE ALIAS "DOUCHE DAWG" IN THE FUTURE).




5. ALWAYS SAYS HAS A FLIGHT TO CATCH IN THE MORNING BEFORE SIGNING OFF BUT DECIDES TO COME BACK LATER WITH MORE TO SAY

.


LISTEN SPORT, IT'S TIME TO GET A #$%&ING LIFE.

SIGNING OFF,

-SAD HANNAH AND THE STARVING FLEAS
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @SAD_HANNAH FOR FREQUENT MOUNT GAY UPDATES

***UNRELATED NOTE: HANNAH WOULD LIKE TO THANK TYCO FOR HIS RECENT DONATION THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO USE IN ORDER TO PURCHASE A LAST NAME***

EGGPLANTS, EGGPLANTS EVERYWHERE

WITH THE RECENT INFLUX IN EGGPLANT RELATED ACTIVITY ON THE MOUNTAIN I DECIDED TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON SAID VEGETABLE!

BOY WAS I IN FOR A SURPRISE, IT TURNS OUT OUR OLD PAL MR EGGPLANT IS ONE MAJOR MOVIE STAR!

HOW NOONE HAS NOTICED THIS IS BEYOND ME, BUT I PRESENT YOU THE FOLLOWING PROOF:

AS SOME GUY ON A PLANE IN AVENGERS!

AS THE MAIN VILLAIN IN THE NEWEST BOND!
(THE BLONDE HAIR PROBABLY PUT US OFF NOTICING!)

AS SOME ASIAN DUDE SHOOTING THINGS UP IN EXPENABLES!

I SUSPECT WE WILL BE SEEING MORE OF OUR MYSTERIOUS ACTOR MR EGGPLANT IN THE YEAR TO COME!

RIP SHINNAR

Today, let us remember Professor Reuel Shinnar of CCNY. A Distinguished Professor of Chemical Engineering, Shinnar had his work published in ChemTech ("The Rise and Fall of Lulz", 1993), Science ("Thermochemical Hydrogen Generation Heat Requirements and Costs of Lulz", 1975), and the Journal of Criminal Justice ("Quantitative Models in Crime Control, Lulz", 1973). 

Although Shinnar was totally dead during the research process of “An Investigation of the Accounting and Economic Rates of Return for Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc.” and thus completely unavailable to answer questions, Mount Gay's own Tiffany rose to the challenge of interpreting his ill-advised foray into economic analysis, "Estimation of the Economic Rate of Return for Industrial Companies" (Journal of Business, 1989).

The following serves to acknowledge her efforts:

ENTRY #11

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

HOW I CAME UPON THE MOUNTAIN

AFTER RECENTLY ESCAPING THE OPPRESSION OF MY OLD HOMELAND, SWEDEN, FAMOUS FOR ITS EXPORT OF BANANAS AND CHEAP FURNITURE, I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY OF HOW I FOUND MY NEW HOME ON THE MOUNTAIN!

THE #1 WAY OF CHEAP FURNITURE TRANSPORT! (AND PEOPLE)

FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS AFTER MY ARRIVAL I STUMBLED, TRYING TO FIND MY FOOTING ON THIS NEW CONTINENT!
I VISITED STRANGE PLACES, WITH STRANGE PEOPLE!

RANDOM CAMGIRLS

I HEARD RUMOURS ABOUT PEOPLE PROMOTING CHANGE, PROMISING A BETTER FUTURE FOR ONE AND ALL!

PROMISING CHANGE, DELIVERING MISERY!

MONTHS AFTER MY ARRIVAL, KNEES BLOODY, EGO BRUISED, AND MY LAST SLIVER OF HOPE WAS ABANDONING ME, I HEARD STORIES OF A MOUNTAIN, FAR IN THE DISTANCE!
RUN BY A FEARLESS LEADER OF POLISH DESCENT, WITH THE AID OF A MAGIC EGGPLANT AND SOME LESS THAN MAGIC FRUITS IN WHITE ARMOR!

I HAD A NEW GOAL, USING MY LAST REMAINING POWERS I STUMBLED OUT ON THE ROAD AGAIN, DETERMINED TO FIND THIS PLACE OF MAGIC AND BEAUTY!

MAGIC FRUITY VEGETABLENESS!

SINCE I HAVE NOW LEARNED THE ATTENTION SPAN ON THE MOUNTAIN IS LESS THAN 42 AND THE LOVE FOR TL;DR IS HIGHER THAN 3600 I WILL CONTINUE MY STORY WHENEVER THE FUCK I FEEL LIKE IT!

ENTRY #10

LOL AT THE MAN/WOMAN WHO FOUND THE BLOG BY SEARCHING THIS.

I THINK KEN IS GAY.

FOUND SOME OLD MFC MAILS TO START THE BEST OF 2012 BLOG (IN PROGRESS)

BEST RAGE OF 2012:

 

BEST WHITE KNIGHT ATTACK:

BEST REACTION TO A PHONE CALL:

BEST SUBTLE ATTEMPT TO COMMENT ABOUT MY DRINKING HABITS:

BEST DISPLAY OF PERSISTENCE:

BEST WTF EMAIL:

BEST ATTEMPT AT BEING A FAKE BALLER:

BTW THIS IS FOR AMY.  AMY IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PLEASE COME ENTERTAIN THE GUESTS WITH YOUR ANTICS SOON.  WE LOVE YOU HERE ON THE MOUNTAIN.