Mount Gay Theatre Playbill

ENLARGE THIS SHIT

Greetings fellow art lovers. After many months of exceptional hard work and dedication--and it goes without saying the monumental amount of bickering and backstabbing--the Mount Gay Theatre staff is proud to finally release its premier Playbill. 

HONESTLYSRSLY HONESTLYPERVING

Upon entering the Mount Gay Theatre, you will be welcomed by our much respected door greeter, old-man HonestlySrsly. He may also be HonestlyDrunk at the time, in which case please do not be offended if he grabs your dick. After being only slightly molested, the cantankerous old fart will provide you with a leaflet which outlines the nights scheduled events.

It is important to study this Program closely and ensure you know exactly which scene the actress is on at the time for any attempts on your part to deviate her from the script will lead to the staff, or the actress herself, verbally assaulting you and throwing more programs in your face. You may also be called a cunt. If you persist, deportation papers will be filed.

A chart has been provided at the bottom of the Program to assist the guests of a certain demographic who have a tendency to get lost in such a large and fine Theatre. This should prevent our most esteemed benefactors, such as the magnificent Ken Orion, from having to reside in the same area as, for example, the vagrant Sherlocke. It is said Sherlocke smells like a wet dog soaked in piss with baby shit rubbed deep into its fur. The staff can assure you that description is entirely accurate.

ACTUAL MOUNT GAY THEATRE

In commemoration of the release of the Mount Gay Theatre Playbill, a party will be held this spring break at our dear friend BundyDawg's colossal 9 bedroom lake house on Lake Lanier. Please be sure to RSVP at sadhannahsad@gmail.com to ensure your spot is held. Gift baskets containing personalized eggplants and token donkey drawings will be handed out to all guests. Atrex has requested lightly soiled undergarments also be included but that's just fucking nasty.

We hope you enjoy the scheduled events and especially the unscheduled ones. Life on Mount Gay is nothing if not surprising.

Until next time...TYCO OUT!