DID SOMEONE SAY THIS WAS A NATURE BLOG?

HOW FUCKING CUTE IS THIS BABY FOX? AND THAT SOUND! I'VE HEARD RUMORS IT'S THE SAME NOISES A CERTAIN RESIDENT OF MOUNT GAY MAKES DIRECTLY FOLLOWING HER VINEGAR STROKES!

OF COURSE THAT BABY FOX IS NOWHERE NEAR AS CUTE AND AMAZING AS OUR VERY OWN CHLOE! I BET THAT OTHER FOX DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HIGH FIVE, DO TURBO ROLLS, ASSASSINATE DICTATORS OR ENTERTAIN THE MASSES WITH A TURKEY SHOW!

MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS!

WHAT'S UP, SPORT? IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN WHEN PEOPLE EITHER SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OR GET DRUNK AND CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE. WHICHEVER ROUTE YOU TAKE, I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR DECISION! BUT FOR NOW LET'S JAM OUT TO SOME CHRISTMAS TUNES AND SMOKE A LITTLE HASH.

HOW ABOUT WE GET THE DAMN OLDIES OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, EH? (I INCLUDED THAT 'EH' FOR ALL THE CANADIANS OUT THERE. WE FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO YOU POUTINE EATING BASTARDS!)

IF YOU DON'T LIKE FRANK SINATRA THEN FUCK YOU!

CAN'T GO WRONG WITH SOME BING CROSBY AND DAVID BOWIE WEARING ABOUT 18 POUNDS OF MAKEUP EACH:

ELTON JOHN ONLY LOOKS ABOUT 75% GAY HERE...

NOT SURE WHO'S SINGING BUT THOSE KIDS CREEP ME THE HELL OUT!

NOW THAT THE OLDIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY LET'S FIRE UP SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! THESE MIGHT BE CLASSIFIED AS 'IGNORANT RAP SHIT' BY SOME PEOPLE BUT SO FUCKING WHAT!


THANK YOU RUN-DMC FOR GIVING US THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!

I ONCE MET EAZY-E AT A 7-ELEVEN WHERE HE KICKED ME IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY AND STOLE MY WALLET TO BUY A 40 OF OLD ENGLISH. I DON'T THINK HE GAVE ME AIDS THOUGH.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS POST FOR ABOUT 8 MINUTES NOW AND I'M ABOUT TO DIE OF BOREDOM. IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS SHIT UP! HERE'S AN AMAZING CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FROM THE FUCKING TRAILER PARK BOYS TITLED "DEAR SANTA CLAUS, GO FUCK YOURSELF". CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 45 MINUTES LONG, OMG!

HAVE A MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS ALL YOU LOYAL READERS AND EVEN YOU CHEAP ASS FUCKING GUESTS! NOW GO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS!

P.S. IF ANYONE COMMENTS 'TL;DR' I WILL :LIZZY AND THEN :JUSTBANNED YOUR ASS, I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST!

DAMN I REALLY THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GOING TO END

AND I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON MFC CAM MODELS

NOW I AM GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH HANNAH AND SHARE MY VIRGIN ASS FOR FOOD

ONE OF THE SIX GOOD THINGS ABOUT JAPAN

HOW TO ACHIEVE "NR1" STATUS

HERE ARE SOME "PRO" TIPS FOR THE GUESTS WHO VISIT MOUNT GAY POSING TO BE CONFUSED MODELS IN NEED OF ADVICE ON HOW TO MARKET THEMSELVES AND BECOME A BETTER CAM MODEL.

1. PROMOTE FUNNY BEHAVIOR

2. DRINK HEAVILY (BEER BONGS ARE YOUR FRIEND)

3. EVERYTHING IS A CAT

4. THERE IS  NO NEED TO STICK THINGS OUT OF YOUR ASS

5. STOP BITCHING ABOUT BEING CALLED "BB"

                  

IF YOU'RE A CAM MODEL WHO DOESN'T LIKE CAPS LOCK TYPING, IT IS LIKELY AN INDICATION THAT YOU ARE OVERLY CONTROLLING AND WOULD HIGHLY BENEFIT FROM XANAX, PAXIL, ETC.  (GOOGLE THIS: "CAPS LOCK" "YELLING" "MYFREECAMS" TO FIND THE MODELS THIS APPLIES TO // WORKS TO FIND ANTI-BB MODELS ALSO)

6. LET THE GUESTS AND BASICS PARTICIPATE (IN A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT OF COURSE). ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LIBERAL. IF YOU DON'T, YOU ARE A HUGE HYPOCRITE AND EVERYONE WILL BE ABLE TO SEE RIGHT THROUGH IT.

7. PUT YOUR FACADE AWAY AND HAVE SOME PERSPECTIVE

8. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ABRUPTLY LEAVE THE ROOM OR SIGN OFF THE WEBSITE

LATELY I'VE HAD NR1 STATUS APPROXIMATELY 75% OF THE TIME SO I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.  LIKE STOCK TIPS THESE ARE ***IDEAS*** NOT RECOMMENDATIONS AND WILL MOST LIKELY NOT BE NEEDED BY MODELS WHO TYPICALLY FINISH IN TOP 100 (SALARY OF OVER $10K/MONTH) AND TOP 20 ($25K+/MONTH).

END OF THE WORLD POSTPONED DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I GUESS WE WILL HAVE TO TRY AGAIN A LITTLE LATER

ENTRY #9

DISCLAIMER 1: OF COURSE WE LOVE ALL THE FOLLOWERS.  SHERLOCKE LOVES EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE

DISCLAIMER 2: IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE ''R WORD'', MY BAD. AS MENTIONED BEFORE, SHERLOCKE LOVES THE MENTALLY ILL AS WELL AS THE MENTALLY SANE, AND ''RETARD'' IS A FUNNY WORD.

THAT BEING SAID...

ENTRY #8

THIS FUCKER IS GREAT AT SPEAKING IN CAPS LOCK:

I TIHNK WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM THIS MAN, GUESTS SHOULD ADD TO THEIR NOTES ON RAGING.

ITS HAPPENING NOW HANG ON

WHAT A GREAT LAST DAY ON EARTH THANKS TO A FRIEND

SINCE THIS IS NOW A NATURE BLOG

WHO DOESN'T LOVE SLOTHSESES

MY NEW FAVORITE BEER

WOW WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT I GUESS YOU JUST GOTTA HAVE MORE!!
MY FIRST BLOG EVER....MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS

FEEDING BABY RACCOONS

FOUND SOME BABY RACCOONS OVER THE WEEKEND.

SEPCIAL THANKS TO SHERLOCKE'S AUNT SALLY FOR UPLOADING THE VIDEO

TOKEN DONKEY MISSING

MOUNT GAY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.

TODAY TERRIBLE NEWS AS THE FAMOUS TOKEN DONKEY HAS GONE MISSING. HERE IS A PROFESSIONALLY DONE ARTISTIC RENDITION OF THE DONKEY.

IF ANYONE HAS SPOTTED THIS DONKEY PLEASE CONTACT iTradeNaked ON MYFREECAMS.

ENTRY #GERAFE

THIS REMINDS ME OF EVERY TIME SHERLOCKE AND I ARE IN A 3 WAY:

P.S.  WTF IS THIS???

ENTRY #1+ (DANGER ZONE EDITION)

AS MY BLOGS ARE + SHERLOCKE AND HIS JUNK'S BLOGS.

ANYONE SEEN THE PEANUTS?

HITACHI: THE MOST OVERRATED VIBRATOR EVER

EVER JUMPED ON THE HITACHI BANDWAGON AND THEN DECIDED IT WASN'T WORTH THE FREE SMORES AND LEMONADE.  THIS THING WAS INVENTED BY SATAN HIMSELF TO DESTROY RELATIONSHIPS AND CONVERT WOMEN INTO MAN HATING FEMINISTS.  NOTHING SHOULD EVER VIBRATE THAT INTENSELY IN ONE'S BIRTH CANAL.  LET'S JUST SAY IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PEE BEFORE YOU STARTED, YOU WILL AFTER THIS THING SENDS 2500000000000000 WATTS REVERBERATING THROUGH YOUR BLADDER. IN FACT YOU MIGHT JUST END UP PEEING ON YOURSELF WHILE USING IT, ALSO KNOWN AS "SQUIRTING"

ENTRY #7

WHO'S HOTTER, SIMON OR GARFUNKEL?

LEAVE RESPONSES IN THE COMMENT SECTION, ONE LUCKY WINNER WILL RECEIVE A GENTLY-USED SEGA DREAMCAST! (actual prizes may vary)

-SHER BEAR

ENTRY #6

WHEN DO THE ACADEMY AWARDS COME OUT? #

TREE VANDAL STILL ON THE LOOSE

WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE TREES!

ENTRY #5

BOOBYTRAP backwards is PARTYBOOB.

ENTRY #3

GREETINGS, LOYAL READERS OF THE ALL-KNOWING SHERLOCKE.

I'VE BEEN BUSY DEALING WITH BULLSHIT, SHENANIGANS, GAY STALKERS, ETC...
BUT I KNOW PEOPLE COUNT ON THIS BLOG TO GET THROUGH THEIR DAYS SO I CAN'T ABANDON YOU, FRIENDS. FRIENDS? FRIENDS?

ANY-HOO, MY LIFE-THREATENING WOUNDS FROM LAST WEEK HAVE HEALED VERY NICELY. THANKS FOR ASKING!

YOU GUYS BORED YET? HERE ARE SOME THINGS ON THE INTERWEBZ YOU SHOULD WATCH:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-S0T4xTdLY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxopViU98Xo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWO5Ai_a80M

THANKS FOR TUNING IN AGAIN THIS WEEK GUYS.  AT THIS POINT, I'D LIKE TO THANK MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS OH GOD I THINK THIS GASH IS INFECTED, BLOOD IS GUSHING EVERYWHERE! WHY, TYCO, WHY? OH HOLY FUCK, THE SMELL IS SO INTENSE, I CAN'T STAND ALL THIS BLOOD!  I'M STARTING TO BLACK OUT FROM THE PAIN BEING SO INTENSE FROM ALL THIS BLOOD.

SINCERELY,

PRINCESS SHERLY

ENTRY #2

WELCOME BACK FRIENDS.

AFTER HUNDREDS, NAY, THOUSANDS (!) OF REQUESTS, ENTRY #2 IS FINALLY BEING RELEASED. THIS IS IT FRIENDS.
FUCK, GUYS, LIFE IS TOUGH FOR US BLOGGERS. GOTTA PLEASE EVERYONE AT ONCE. I AM LITERALLY SOBBING AT MY KEYBOARD RIGHT NOW (may or may not be factual).
OKAY, LIST OF GNARLIEST PEOPLE IN THIS CHATROOM:

1. SHER BEAR
Reason: UMM IT'S OBVIOUS.

2. TIFFANY
Reason: OH GOD, I CUT MY LEG TRYING TO DICE THIS APPLE, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE.

3. TYCO/HONESTLYSRSLY (tie)
Reason: OH MY GOD THERE'S SO MUCH BLOOD, I THINK I'M GONNA FAINT.

4. SGTFENIX
Reason: FUUUUCK THE PAIN IS SO INTENSE I CAN'T STOP SCREAMING! WHY, GOD, WHY!

5. REMAINING GUESTS/BASICS
Reason: TYCO? WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED YOUR HELP. OH GOD, TYCO. THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE, I CAN'T EVEN THINK ANYMORE. PLEASE HELP ME TYCO, THE WOUND IS EXCRUCIATING.

THANKS FOR READING THE BLOG EVERYONE. APOLOGIES TO ANY READERS WHO I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO MENTION. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR SOME HAIKUS, OR MAYBE ANOTHER CAPS LOCK RANT. HAVEN'T DECIDED YET.

SINCERELY,
SHERLOCKE SR.

ENTRY #1

TOOK ME 7 MINUTES TO SET UP THIS BLOG, I'M BORED ALREADY.

RULES FOR THIS BLOG:
  1. WTF IS A BLOG?
  2. OF COURSE ALL LETTERS WILL BE IN CAPS.  THIS IS A BLOG, NOT A VAGINA.
  3. BRB GETTING SOME GRAPE SODA TO CALM DOWN A LITTLE.
  4. GRAPE SODA DID NOT HELP, I SPILLED IT EVERYWHERE!
  5. WTF IS A BLOG? SERIOUSLY IF ANYONE KNOWS, LEAVE A COMMENT.
  6. CAPS LOCK BROKE SO I'M JUST USING SHIFT NOW.
  7. I HAVEN'T WRITTEN THIS MUCH IN ONE SITTING SINCE PRISON.
  8. OKAY DONE FOR THE NIGHT, LOYAL READERS. STAY TUNED FOR MORE THRILLING BLOGGING FROM YOURS TRULY.

SINCERELY,
SHERLOCKE, AKA SHERLY, AKA SHER BEAR, AKA DICKMOUTH

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