MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS!

WHAT'S UP, SPORT? IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN WHEN PEOPLE EITHER SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY OR GET DRUNK AND CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE. WHICHEVER ROUTE YOU TAKE, I FULLY SUPPORT YOUR DECISION! BUT FOR NOW LET'S JAM OUT TO SOME CHRISTMAS TUNES AND SMOKE A LITTLE HASH.

HOW ABOUT WE GET THE DAMN OLDIES OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, EH? (I INCLUDED THAT 'EH' FOR ALL THE CANADIANS OUT THERE. WE FUCKING LOVE YOU TOO YOU POUTINE EATING BASTARDS!)

IF YOU DON'T LIKE FRANK SINATRA THEN FUCK YOU!

CAN'T GO WRONG WITH SOME BING CROSBY AND DAVID BOWIE WEARING ABOUT 18 POUNDS OF MAKEUP EACH:

ELTON JOHN ONLY LOOKS ABOUT 75% GAY HERE...

NOT SURE WHO'S SINGING BUT THOSE KIDS CREEP ME THE HELL OUT!

NOW THAT THE OLDIES ARE OUT OF THE WAY LET'S FIRE UP SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! THESE MIGHT BE CLASSIFIED AS 'IGNORANT RAP SHIT' BY SOME PEOPLE BUT SO FUCKING WHAT!


THANK YOU RUN-DMC FOR GIVING US THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG EVER!

I ONCE MET EAZY-E AT A 7-ELEVEN WHERE HE KICKED ME IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY AND STOLE MY WALLET TO BUY A 40 OF OLD ENGLISH. I DON'T THINK HE GAVE ME AIDS THOUGH.

I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS POST FOR ABOUT 8 MINUTES NOW AND I'M ABOUT TO DIE OF BOREDOM. IT'S TIME TO WRAP THIS SHIT UP! HERE'S AN AMAZING CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FROM THE FUCKING TRAILER PARK BOYS TITLED "DEAR SANTA CLAUS, GO FUCK YOURSELF". CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 45 MINUTES LONG, OMG!

HAVE A MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS ALL YOU LOYAL READERS AND EVEN YOU CHEAP ASS FUCKING GUESTS! NOW GO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS FOR THE NEXT 2 DAYS!

P.S. IF ANYONE COMMENTS 'TL;DR' I WILL :LIZZY AND THEN :JUSTBANNED YOUR ASS, I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST!