ANONYMOUS DISTURBING VIDEO

WE GET A LOT OF WEIRD MAIL HERE AT MOUNT GAY, OFTEN REQUIRING LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ASSISTANCE DEACTIVATING BOMBS OR RETRIEVING SAWN OFF HUMAN LIMBS, BUT RECENTLY WE RECEIVED WHAT COULD BE THE MOST HAUNTING MAIL YET.

IT ARRIVED AS MOST PACKAGES DO, WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS AND MASSIVE, VEINY COCKS DRAWN ENTIRELY AROUND THE SURFACE. UPON OPENING THE PACKAGE WE FOUND ONLY A SOLITARY BETAMAX CASSETTE. THANKFULLY, @HONESTLYSRSLY STILL HAS THE BETAMAX PLAYER HE PURCHASED WHEN THEY WERE FIRST RELEASED IN 1975.

DANGERGOAT, ASSUMING IT WAS THE MOST VILE PORN IMAGINABLE, SWIPED THE TAPE AND WAS THE FIRST TO WATCH IT. SADLY, WE HAVE NO HEARD FROM HIM SINCE.

FEARING THE VIDEO COULD BE CURSED, WE FOUND A WAY TO DIGITIZE IT AND WE'VE UPLOADED IT TO YOUTUBE IN THE HOPES THEIR COMPRESSION ALGORITHMS WILL REMOVE ANY POSSIBLE CURSES OR DARK MAGIC ATTACHED.

PLEASE TAKE ALL NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS WHEN WATCHING. IF YOU DO HAPPEN TO GO INSANE (OR DIE) AND RUN INTO DANGERGOAT, PLEASE GIVE HIM OUR WELL WISHES.