LIVE! FROM MOUNT [CENSORED]

Monday, March 31, 2014

SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY... (TL;DR AT THE END)

Our story begins many thousand years ago, so I want you to think back, to your ancestors, to the stone age.
Everything is cold, you are always hungry, the closest thing to toilet paper is a handful of rough leaves you grabbed from the closest bush.
Now close your eyes, imagine being there, imagine that hell!

The average life expectancy was about 30 years, 30 YEARS OF LIVING HELL! This meant you had to grow up real fast if you wanted to get shit done!

Somehow people managed to cope, work through the hardships because they wanted to live a better life, a warmer life, a happier life!
Along came the bronze age, people wanted to be able to eat the dead-ish raw food with something other than sticks and their hands! BOOM! CUTLERY!
But what good is fucking cutlery if you're still freezing your ass off? TIME TO INVENT SOME "CLOTHES"!

Zip zap a couple of thousand years forward, we now have farms, an ample access to sheep, cows and other clothing/food related animals. We know how to make a fire and cook our food, our eating utensils are even better, sharper. But still there are people unaware of the fulfilling sensation of cooked food, the warmth of clothes. The church sends out crusaders to inform the pagans about the superiority of clothes and warm food!

In the years to come much blood is spilled, many lives are taken, but in the end people accept that cooked food and clothes are good things. People rejoice, the standard of life had improved, the life expectancy had increased to a whopping 45 years on average!

Zippity zap again, 2014, it's easier than ever to cook your food, there are microwaves, electrical ovens. Clothes are in an abundance, it's a human right to be able to wear clothes! But there is a darkness spreading, something is changing... There is a great evil looming over us...

TL;DR

WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE EATING SUSHI AND WEARING BIKINIS!? YOUR ANCESTORS DID NOT SACRIFICE THEIR LIVES FOR YOU TO BE EATING RAW FOOD AND WEARING NOTHING!

THE NEXT TIME YOU PUT A RAW FISH IN YOUR MOUTH OR WALK OUTSIDE WEARING SOMETHING OTHER THAN A PARKA, REMEMBER YOUR FOREFATHERS BRED GOATS AND INVENTED THE MICROWAVE FOR YOU!

PUT ON YOUR BEST PARKA AND HEAD OFF TO THE NEAREST TACO BELL, OR YOUR CHILDREN MIGHT NEVER EVEN GET TO EAT WARM FOOD OR GET DRESSED!

CHANGE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! DO NOT SQUANDER THE OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN! DO NOT LET THIS BE THE PEAK OF EVOLUTION, WE CAN STILL IMPROVE!

-This post was brought to you by the #PWM

Saturday, March 22, 2014

I DIDN'T KNOW GOATS COULD STUTTER

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Tyco's Top 10 Tweets of 2013

Yeah, you read the title right. It's again time for Tyco's Top 10 Tweets of <insert year here>. Now, just so you know, I'm super fucking lazy so I just scrolled through my favorites and picked a few at random. Let's just jump right in, shall we?

#10 - Obviously the worst of all time if it's number 10, right? Regardless, here's the tweet that started a legacy of really fucking stupid videos at http://vidz.livefrommountg.com/.

#9 - lol 'Sherlocke' is a dumb name.

#8 - Sherlocke marketing Goat Goat City Bitch to some Diddy dude.

#7 - Rant accurately describes everyone's feelings when Roxy abrupt'd on us. #RantKnows

#6 - Skip this tweet if you aren't in #manchat. You might not be able to handle it.

#5 - Tyco loves any tweet that involves drowning in pussy. Now don't start acting all offended.

#4 - Toby out mackin' on some hoe. But srsly, who doesn't love a perverted cat?

#3 - ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER helps a brother out with some Little Caesars issues.

#2 - Sherlocke surprises the world with a secret love letter. This motherfucker totes got carebeared.

#1 - We always knew #Roxaholics was a freak, so this tweet was no real surprise. #RIPDangerGoat

And there we have it. The best of the best for 2013. I had a ton of entries to sort through and anyone not on the list, know that your tweet was probably right near the top but had to be cut. lol just kidding, this was the only other tweet of 2013 I actually liked:

TOOKY, OUT!

Monday, October 14, 2013

ENTRY #22

WHAT'S GOING ON IN SHER'S LIFE? THANKS FOR ASKING! JUST GOT A RANT ON MARRIAGE FROM SOME 70-YEAR-OLD DUDE ON MFC. BEHOOVE ME TO READ THIS:

YEAH THAT WAS FUCKING LONG AS FUCK YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME I WAS THERE K TC TC GOODNIGHT SHERFANS

Thursday, October 10, 2013

ENTRY #21

                                                 
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Wednesday, October 9, 2013

MOUNT GAY GUIDE TO PREPARING CHICKEN

HERE AT MOUNT GAY HEADQUARTERS WE'VE BEEN HAVING AROUND THE CLOCK MEETINGS TO ENSURE WE ALWAYS PROVIDE YOU WITH THE FRESHEST CONTENT ON THE INTERNET. WE KNOW A LOT OF YOU MOUNT GAYANS ARE ASPIRING CHEFS, SO WE DECIDED OUR INAUGURAL HOW TO EPISODE SHOULD TRY AND HELP MAKE YOUR TIME IN THE KITCHEN A BIT LESS STRESSFUL.

PLEASE ENJOY OUR FIRST HOW TO GUIDE AND LET US KNOW, IN THE COMMENTS, WHAT YOU THINK. OUR COMMUNITY REPRESENTATIVE, @SHERLOCKE2, ALWAYS VALUES YOUR OPINION.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

ANONYMOUS DISTURBING VIDEO

WE GET A LOT OF WEIRD MAIL HERE AT MOUNT GAY, OFTEN REQUIRING LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ASSISTANCE DEACTIVATING BOMBS OR RETRIEVING SAWN OFF HUMAN LIMBS, BUT RECENTLY WE RECEIVED WHAT COULD BE THE MOST HAUNTING MAIL YET.

IT ARRIVED AS MOST PACKAGES DO, WITH NO RETURN ADDRESS AND MASSIVE, VEINY COCKS DRAWN ENTIRELY AROUND THE SURFACE. UPON OPENING THE PACKAGE WE FOUND ONLY A SOLITARY BETAMAX CASSETTE. THANKFULLY, @HONESTLYSRSLY STILL HAS THE BETAMAX PLAYER HE PURCHASED WHEN THEY WERE FIRST RELEASED IN 1975.

DANGERGOAT, ASSUMING IT WAS THE MOST VILE PORN IMAGINABLE, SWIPED THE TAPE AND WAS THE FIRST TO WATCH IT. SADLY, WE HAVE NO HEARD FROM HIM SINCE.

FEARING THE VIDEO COULD BE CURSED, WE FOUND A WAY TO DIGITIZE IT AND WE'VE UPLOADED IT TO YOUTUBE IN THE HOPES THEIR COMPRESSION ALGORITHMS WILL REMOVE ANY POSSIBLE CURSES OR DARK MAGIC ATTACHED.

PLEASE TAKE ALL NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS WHEN WATCHING. IF YOU DO HAPPEN TO GO INSANE (OR DIE) AND RUN INTO DANGERGOAT, PLEASE GIVE HIM OUR WELL WISHES.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

ENTRY #20

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

THE COMMISHY REPORT 2.0

WELCOME BACK, FELLOW MT. GAYANS. TODAY WE BRING YOU SPECIAL FOOTAGE OF SHERFUCKES CONFRONTATION WITH A SOMEWHAT IRRITATED/DRUNK/HIGH COMMISHY. ACCUSATIONS OF HACKING WERE SLUNG AND GOGGLES WERE WORN. FOR MORE ON THIS NAIL-BITING ENCOUNTER, SEE THE VIDEO BELOW.

LET THIS BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON TO EVERYONE: STAY AWAY FROM THE COCAINE, POT, COCAINE, THE DRUGS AND LIVE WITH TWO BI WOMEN IF POSSIBLE.

NOW, TO CLEAR YOUR PALATE OF THAT BULLSHIT, GET YER GOAT ON WITH SOME 80'S ROCK:

TOOKY, OUT!

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Ice King DAC - world's quickest DAC

Saw a demo for this thing at Guitar Center today and promptly added the Ice King DAC to my Christmas wishlist (the best DAC in the world). Apparently it infuses some kind of three stage crystal formula into the circuit boards to produce cleaner, more brilliant bass texture and even enables new beats to be heard between beats while preserving the integrity of melody. Unlike standard chassis which are plastic and metal, the DAC chassis is composed of tree fibers and pure quartz crystals, creating a clear, high definition sound. It is also non-debilitating, unlike the heavy, overly penetrating vibrations associated with powerful bass. I was interested in upgrading to the VibraPortal as well for the added transparency and insane resolution. I was told that the SPDIF input is disabled so it only works with the USB input but for my purposes this is fine.

Monday, August 12, 2013

ENTRY #19: DATING ADVICE

Thursday, April 4, 2013

ENTRY #18

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

ENTRY #17

CHECK IT YALL:

AWWW YEEEAAAAA

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR MORE RETARDED SHIT SHERSHERSHERSHER

Saturday, March 2, 2013

WINTER 2012 VACATION SCRAPBOOK

WHILE SEXnCHEESE A.K.A. TIFFANY A.K.A. CAROLINE A.K.A. TYCO IS ON VACATION, WE PRESENT YOU WITH A SMATTERING OF IMAGES FROM THE GANGS LAST GET-TOGETHER. THESE WERE ACCIDENTALLY RECOVERED FROM THE RECYCLE BIN SO WE MIGHT AS WELL USE THEM.

HERE WE SEE CAROLINE IMPATIENTLY WAITING FOR SHERLOCKE/TYCO AND HONESTLYSRSLY TO GET THE FRACK IN THE VAN WHILE KEN PLAYS IN THE STREET.

AT THE LODGE, KENS COMPLETELY RATIONAL FEAR OF VAMPIRE MOSQUITOES KEPT HIM INSIDE WHILE EVERYONE ELSE BREATHED IN THAT FRESH MOUNTAIN AIR FROM THE PATIO.

SOON ENOUGH, LDO, THEY HIT UP THE NEAREST BAR.

KEN SNUCK OFF TO LOOK FOR A GLORY HOLE AND FOUND SOMETHING BETTER.

HONESTLYSRSLY HAD ONLY ONE 10% OFF COUPON SO THEY HAD TO SETTLE FOR ONE ROOM.

WHILE KEN AND HS ARGUED OVER WHO SLEPT IN WHICH CHAIR, TYCO/SHERLOCKE SAID FUCK THAT AND DECIDED TO RENT HIS OWN ROOM. GUESTS WERE INVITED.

MEANWHILE, THINGS GOT A LITTLE CRAZY FOR TIFFANY, KEN AND HONESTLYSRSLY.

THE NEXT MORNING KEN AND HS USED THEIR ARMS TO IMITATE THE CURVATURE OF THEIR PENISES.

MISCELLANEOUS SKIING OCCURED.

AND CONTINUED OCCURRING.

KEN GOT THE BRILLIANT IDEA THAT THEY SHOULD EXPLORE DEEPER IN THE MOUNTAINS FOR SOME FRESH POWDER. "LET'S JUST LIKE, FOLLOW ONE OF THESE RED LINES", HE SAID.

AS EXPECTED EVERYTHING GOES TITS UP AND THE GANG GETS CHASED BY AN AVALANCHE WHILE A BATTLE RAGED OVER THEM.

HONESTLYSRSLY LOOKING BADASS AS HE ESCAPED THE AVALANCHE. SECONDS LATER HE LANDED IN A TREE AND WAS LOST IN THE WOODS FOR 14 DAYS. HYPOTHERMIA TOOK 7 TOES.

TIFF SNAGGED A SLED AND MADE HER WAY DOWN THE TRAILS WITH KEN FIRMLY IN TOW. KENS HMONG INTUITION LED THEM DIRECTLY ONTO A LARGE FROZEN LAKE WHERE TIFFANY FELL IN. HYPOTHERMIA TOOK BOTH OF HER NIPPLES. SHE HAS SINCE RECEIVED EXTREMELY REALISTIC NIPPLE TATTOO'S.

IN ALL THE COMMOTION, SHERLOCKE/TYCO REALIZED HE HADN'T EATEN YET AND SWUNG BY TACO BELL FOR A CRUNCHWRAP. IT WAS DELICIOUS.

WEEKS LATER, HAPPY TO HAVE SURVIVED THE FREAK AIR BATTLE, AVALANCHE, HYPOTHERMIA AND INTRODUCTION OF THE DORITOS TACO, THEY ALL RENDEZVOUSED AT THE ICE BAR FOR A FEW DOZEN COORS LIGHT.

NOBODY REMEMBERS WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT BUT RUMOR IS HONESTLYSRSLY HAD AN ABORTION, KEN GOT A VASECTOMY, TIFFANY GOT KIDNAPPED BY BUNDYDAWG AND REPLACED BY A ROMANIAN STUNT DOUBLE AND TYCO/SHERLOCKE HAS BEEN IN WITNESS PROTECTION UNTIL DANGERGOAT IS CAPTURED AND RETURNED TO PRISON.

NOW GO WATCH SOME VIDEOS AND LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE http://vidz.livefrommountgay.com/

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

CLEAR YOUR FRACKING CALENDAR FOR FEBRUARY 28TH

BE SURE TO RSVP EARLY OR

Saturday, February 23, 2013

THE COMMISHY REPORT

Hello fellow Mt Gayans. Today we have a slightly disturbing story to report on. While at the SEXnCHESS after party I stumbled upon this lighthearted conversation...

11:51:55 PM Commishy: ppl tipped her all fucking nite ! and she went private!!

11:52:07 PM Kenorion77: I ONLY DO TRUE PVT

11:52:08 PM flockofmeag: you guys

11:52:26 PM Commishy: get a clue losers

11:52:41 PM Tyco21: THANKS FOR YOUR AMAZING INSIGHTS COMMISHY

11:52:56 PM ForNothin:

keep the Commishy comments comin'

11:53:06 PM HappyTrexxy: CAN YOU DO A QUICK SPY COMMISHY?

11:53:07 PM HonestlySrsly: How much did you tip tonight Commishy?

11:53:11 PM HappyTrexxy: DID SHE TAKE HER CLOTHES OFF?

11:53:13 PM Commishy: 4 nothing u sag faggot

11:53:15 PM Tyco21: I WONDER IF COMMISHY HAS TO WEAR A HELMET WHEN USING THE INTERNET

11:53:21 PM HonestlySrsly: Trexxy doesn't want to spy if she's naked at all

11:53:32 PM Commishy: hs like 150 tokens

11:53:37 PM HappyTrexxy: DON'T WANNA RISK ANYTHING HS!

11:53:43 PM ForNothin: could get an STD

11:53:50 PM HonestlySrsly: So we can call you a loser too Commishy!

11:53:59 PM Tyco21: DO YOU REALLY WANT HEPATITIS B?

11:54:01 PM Klytus: rarely gets naked. your fault for tipping, commishy

11:54:13 PM tednugent37: wtf did this commishy come from, fucking kid

11:54:17 PM Commishy: hs ..youd prolly not last long in real life

11:54:28 PM Tyco21: WE LET HIM STAY IN THE ROOM FOR THE LULZ, TED

11:54:28 PM RonBurgundy33: someone is getting some

11:54:33 PM RonBurgundy33: umadcommishy

11:54:42 PM SebstianBach: And Tyco... come on dude... every one spending his friday night here and spending money to a "virtual friend" is lame...

11:54:43 PM loverecords3: what's happening in private?

11:54:46 PM HappyTrexxy: WHY IS HS BEING SUCH AN ASS ALL OF A SUDDEN?

11:54:53 PM meadski123: Ehhh so she doesn't need to get naked. that's what porn is for. I think it's cooler to actually talk to her than beat it to her. hahaha

11:55:05 PM Commishy: i dont count like 500 the last 5 days

11:55:05 PM HappyTrexxy: AND WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HIM COMMISHY!?

11:55:06 PM HonestlySrsly: All of a sudden?! and ME?! You ruined weatherman's dreams Trexxy

11:55:14 PM HonestlySrsly:

11:55:18 PM tednugent37: tyco, oh, likea big fucking joke,, now i get it

11:55:20 PM Tyco21: I agree SebstianBach, but shit happens so fucking enjoy it

11:55:26 PM Tyco21: Exactly, Ted

11:55:46 PM HappyTrexxy: IT'S SATURDAY MORNING SEBASTIAN!

11:55:51 PM ForNothin: commishy has a need to be hated

11:55:57 PM ForNothin: :commishy

11:56:10 PM ryger: commishy feeds off the hate

11:56:11 PM RonBurgundy33: commishy you gotta risk it to get the biscuit

11:56:12 PM Commishy: 4 nothing your a faggot

11:56:16 PM Commishy: loser

11:56:17 PM Tyco21: :sncspinx